JEEBUS FRIES!

Yaaaar, happy Talk Like a Pirate Day! May yer weekend be filled with booty an' not wi' scurvy!

YARR.

Hey, all.

My friend hellziggy has a chance to win a cruise to Antarctica. Sounds a little cold to me, but if you want to do her a favor and vote for her, here's her entry. Send hellziggy and her travel companion Moose to the bottom of the world!

I...just...

There are no words.

( Text under cut, for the link-phobic )

These people are RUINING their child. Hell, probably have already ruined her beyond repair. I don't feel sorry for them, because they've done it to themselves. But I feel sorry for their daughters. Both of them.

Un-frickin-believable.

Also, designer pacifiers? REALLY? They're just gonna get covered in baby spit! What the hell's the point??

From slammerkinbabe.



HEAR HEAR.

This link was sent to me by my boss.

Some of these are pretty creepy, all right.

Be sure to enlarge and read the copy on the Lysol ad. Your husband loves you so it's your fault your marriage is suffering...if only you'd doused your womanly areas with clean-smelling, non-caustic concentrated Lysol! Silly woman. Now go make me a sandwich.

To all my American friends:

Happy Independence Day! And happy Saturday, for the rest of you! :)

I have Monday off, so I'm very excited. The last 3 hours of work yesterday seemed to drag on and on, as half of the office was taking the day off.

I have some big plans for this weekend, most notably 1) Vacuum, 2) Homework, and 3) Veg.

I have the feeling 3 will be the easiest to accomplish.

Summer was up for quite a while last night, as some people in the neighborhood decided to start the celebration early by setting off bottle rockets and poppers in the street. She disappeared around 10:30; I believe she was huddled in the bathroom, as that seems to be where she goes when she's freaked. But when I woke this morning, she was stretched out beside me on her blanket, dead to the world.

She's going to be even more distressed tonight. Poor baby.

OMGWTF THUNDERSTORM.

Got to leave work a little early because we were having brownouts. Summer is looking a little wild-eyed. This is her first thunderstorm.

A tornado touched down about an hour south of me.

The traffic lights on the highway through town are out.

When I got home, there were a couple big tree limbs lying across the sidewalk; my neighbor said that one almost hit her boyfriend when he got home.

Fun times! I'm just hoping I'll be able to attend my seminar tonight without my electricity going out!

I hope all of you are keeping safe, warm, and dry!

It is humid here. Hot and humid.

I feel like I am wilting. I am a DELICATE FREAKIN' FLOWER, DAMMIT. I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE WILTING.

Of course, it probably doesn't help my too-hot feeling that I'm drinking a glass of fairly strong blackberry wine from one of the local wineries.

Also, as a perk of the new job, my supervisor sent me home with a couple more bottles of wine today, one a reisling because she knows I like reislings, and one is a Pinot noir because I told her I'd never had a Pinot. I guess I need to brush up on my wine knowledge. Sigh. Life is so hard.

I think my hair is twice as big as it was earlier. A gal in my online seminar lives not far from me and said it was thundering there, so maybe we'll get a bit of a storm too, and maybe I can cool off!

I picked up Chaz today in Sherwood and we went to see a movie...I haven't seen a movie in the theater for months.

He'd already seen Star Trek, but said he wouldn't mind watching it again, so that's what we did.

I loved it! I was never a huge Trekkie or anything, but I loved it. I would definitely watch it again. And, to my lady friends who seem to be commenting on this a lot, yes. I did think Spock was cute.

I mentioned that to Charles and he kind of rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah, Sofia said something about him having 'luscious lips,' whatever that means. I didn't notice."

Tomorrow, the beach!

I don't remember much about my dream last night. Nathan Fillion was in it, which is the most important part.

I think we lived in some sort of commune...? Or something...? There were a bunch of people in a big house. At one point, we had to hide in a hidden room in the attic. I'm not sure why. But apparently I decided that I wanted to sneak down to the kitchen and get a snack. When I got there, there was a little girl in a pinafore standing with her back to me.

Me: Uh...hi, there.

Little Girl: *turned around, cocked her head* Did you know that when you drink bleach, you die?

Me: ...yes.

Little Girl: *giggled* All the people in town didn't know that!

Little Boy: *came down the stairs from the attic* Those people up there didn't know that, either.

Me: Uh...

And then, Leonard Nimoy came staggering down the stairs, looking quite pale. "Kill them! They made us drink bleach!"

And suddenly Nathan Fillion, looking none the worse for wear from the bleach drinking, flew down the stairs and did something that made the evil children disappear, and then we lived happily ever after.

Musicians from all over the world + digital technology = Neato! :)

Love ya!

ABC's of ME

ABC's of YOU
You've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with the ABC's of YOU. At the end, choose 26 people to be tagged. You have to tag me so really you just need 25 more people. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you - but not in a creepy stalker kind of way.

A - Age: 28

B - Bed size: Twin

C - Chore you hate: Folding clothes, cleaning the kitchen

D - Dog's name: Summer (Sum, Sum-Bum, Bummer, Pooper, Stinky, Scratchy, OMNOMNOM)

E - Essential start your day item: My computer (must check email!)

F - Favorite color: Green

G - Gold or Silver: Silver

H - Height: 5'6"

I - Instruments you play(ed): I played the flute in elementary school. I'd like to learn to play the violin.

J - Job title: Unemployed. :(

K - Kid(s): Summer's enough for now!

L - Living arrangements: Renting an apartment in McMinnville.

K - Mom's name: MaryLou

N - Nicknames: Nell, Neeners, NellBell

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: I don't think there have been any (knock on wood!). I had a hernia operation when I was 5 but I don't think I spent the night in the hospital.

P - Pet Peeve: Hypocrites, jerks, intolerance.

Q - Quote from a movie: "Oh, fuck off, Grasshopper." - Reverend, Hot Fuzz

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: Younger brother, Charles

T - Time you wake up: Usually around 8 or 8:30

U- Underwear: Haines black bikini-cut cotton.

V - Vegetable you dislike: Brussels sprouts

W - Ways you run late: Not having much of a life at the moment, it's pretty rare that I actually need to be somewhere at a specific time anymore.

X - X-rays you've had: Teeth, foot, finger

Y - Yummy food you make: Roasted chicken & veggies, pumpkin cookies, pot roast, chicken soup

Z - Zoo favorite: Primates of all sorts, big cats

1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload, if you feel like it) 5 songs that start with that letter. (Or find links on youtube like I did >.> )
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions.

Rainy gave me the letter C. Sorry it's taken me so long, Rainy!

1. Carry On, Wayward Son - Kansas


2. Cell Block Tango - Chicago


3. Crazy Maze - Des'ree


4. Congratulations - Blue October


5. Crystal - Stevie Nicks

getting_weary posted this on her LJ, and I thought I'd pass it along to you all. Poor doggy!

Dog Sleep Runs Into a Wall

This dog tries desperately to catch a dream frisbee, and almost knocks himself back to sleep.

Get humor videos at NothingToxic

I dreamt last night that I was watching the movie Xanadu. This might not be so unusual except I've never seen Xanadu and had no idea what it was about, and, after reading the blurb on imdb, it's not the movie I watched after all.

I know that's confusing, but bear with me.

All I'd heard about Xanadu was "It was made a long time ago and it has something to do with roller skates." My brain translated that into "It was made in the 60s and involves teenagers and zombies." Okay, then.

At the start of my dream, I was going to watch the movie, but as soon as it started, I was actually IN the movie and it wasn't a movie any more but reality. There were a bunch of teenagers in a huge abandoned house (or rather, a bunch of 20-somethings playing teenagers) and we were having a party.

Somehow, we all split off into smaller groups of 2 or 3 and I wandered off my myself (NEVER DO THAT IN A HORROR MOVIE). People started being found broken in half and stuffed in chests. The house was quiet. I came across a girl with long brown hair who introduced herself as Megan. We started chatting and became friendly. At one point, we were in the bathroom, talking and fixing our hair in the mirror. We'd left the bathroom door open.

One of the other houseguests, a girl, suddenly danced into view across the room outside the bathroom door. I say "danced," but it was really a gruesome parody of a dance; she looked like a huge puppet. Her arms were up and her legs were flailing, her head was lolling back on her neck. There was no music.

I stared at her, disconcerted, and Megan turned around and looked at her too. The dancing girl started coming closer, and Megan turned back to look in the mirror. She screamed.

Reflected in the mirror, the girl wasn't a girl, but a woman in her 40s. Her eyes were milky and she was staring at us. Megan whispered, "Mom?"

Megan had explained to me that her mom had died a couple weeks before. She spun around and asked the dancing girl, "Who are you?"

The girl stepped into the shower and turned on the water. It beat down upon her hair and face and she said, "Megan dear, I'm your mommy! See how young..." she tossed her hair "...and beautiful I am now?"

"You're not my mom!" Megan exclaimed. I don't know where I was for all this...presumably huddled under the counter in a fetal position.

"Of course I am. In the hospital, I drank her blood. Now we think with the same brain!"

At this point in the dream, I said, "THIS MOVIE IS RIDICULOUS."

Megan tried to leave the bathroom, but there were two zombies in suits in the room. They were on the other side of the room and didn't seem to be moving very fast. Truth be told, I was more freaked out about the dancing girl, even if I thought her claim of being able to share a brain after drinking someone's blood was bogus.

About that time, I had to pee, so I woke up. I was a little disappointed that there weren't any rollerskates in my dream.

I read this article a couple weeks ago, and all I can say is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGH.

Huge Sea Worm Captured in Britain.

Guys, I'm pasting the text under a cut, but you need to click that link. The picture they have there of "Barry" will scar you for life, I'm not joking.

( For the wussies who don't want to see Barry in all his creepy-ass glory... )

Sweet dreams! :D

Hullo, friends.

Just wanted to say I just finished watching the series premiere of Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire on Comedy Central. I wasn't sure how I would like it but it's actually pretty darn funny and I'll probably try to keep watching it.

It's definitely cheesy and slapstick, but quite amusing. Fun stuff!

Hullo, flist.

I hope everyone had a nice weekend.

My weekend was fun. Charles came to visit. We did the usual stuff we do together: play video games, watch TV and movies, and the last couple episodes of Supernatural (he doesn't have cable at his place, so he watches them on his laptop.

In addition to the usual brain-numbing activities we usually do, we also got outside a couple times. It was beautiful here this weekend, warm and sunny. On Saturday, we drove to the park and walked along the bike path a little way, then out onto the soccer field, where we threw Summer's ball for her. We had left the water in the car, so by the time we headed back (after laying on the grass for a while) she was tired and thirsty and a little mutinous. We were about 15 feet from the car before she said, "FUCK ALL Y'ALL" and laid down in the grass, so I brought her the water and let her rest a couple minutes.

That afternoon, while I was doing homework, I heard tinkling bell sounds outside. Summer started walking around, looking at me, sniffing under the door, and whimpering. I looked out the window and saw my neighbor Christina on the sidewalk, playing with her two ferrets. They were wearing harnesses, and one harness has bells on it, thus the noise.

Summer's met the ferrets before but she's pretty fascinated with them so we all went out to say hi. We sat outside with Christina for a while in the sun and pet the ferrets.

Ferrets stink!

Then yesterday, Christina came over with her ferrets AND a baby, the daughter of one of her coworkers. She asked if we wanted to go for a walk. I declined, because I was trying to do homework.

About ten minutes later, I decided that a walk actually sounded pretty nice, so I knocked on her door and we all piled in the car and went back to the park. It was about 70 degrees yesterday, so we spread a couple blankets in some shade and took off our shoes and just sat there for a while. Charley threw the ball for Sum while Christina and I played with the baby, who was happy and gurgly and so chubby.

After we returned to the apartment and the baby had a nap, Christina brought her over again for a while.

Then Charley and I got ready to go. I took him all the way into Portland yesterday because I had been invited over to my friend Cam's house.

In high school, we were the drama kids, and most of my guy friends (Cam especially) were fascinated with making movies. As a result, I had the chance in high school to be in several movies (for classes, mostly). Yesterday, Cam, Rob, Ian and I (all high school friends with whom I only recently reconnected) did some commentaries on those movies at Cam's house. It may sound a little silly but it was really fun. I didn't even remember participating in some of them, but as we watched the film, more and more of it came back to me.

My biggest role was as Pearl in The Scarlet Letter that we did for sophomore(?) English. I was...not a great actor. To say the least. But it was fun to see all that again, see people in the background that I haven't seen in a decade. And it was nice to hang out with the guys again.

If anyone is interested, my friends' film websites are:

Ouchmouth's YouTube account
a3o

I don't think any of the movies I was involved in are available on these sites, though you can see me briefly at the beginning of the following trailer for "Ungodly Brain of Doom." I'm in a blue sweatshirt, sleeping on a desk.



The guys haven't been making many movies lately, but I hope when they start up again they'll give me a call, because we really had a great time in high school.

If you decide to look through their websites (CAMP AND GORE IS THEIR THING), have fun. Some of the audio tracks have been removed from the YouTube account for copyright reasons (oops!). I recommend "Pitch" on a3o (it's the only one I've watched on there so far) and "A Time Visitor's Guide" on the Ouchmouth account.

Ricky Gervais and Elmo
I'm not entirely sure what's going on in this video, but I love Ricky Gervais and, after this video, I think I might be on my way to loving Elmo as well.


And this one, I stole from chowyunsmut on my flist:
Mow the Lawn
You'll have to click the link for this one. Probably not so safe for work...
Never feel untidy...just spruce up your Aphrodite!

Enjoy.

Consider this your validation, guys. You...are great. And you all have beautiful eyes.



It's pretty long but it's worth it.