Today we cleaned three houses. In the last house, the deep (meaning the room that we move EVERYTHING and clean EVERYTHING and spend extra time on) was the living room. So Nicole, who was my captain, helped me move the couches. We moved the first one, and it was fairly clean underneath. We moved the second one...and Nicole said "Oh my GOD." And I said "What?" And she said, "There are MAGGOTS in the carpet!"
Me: ...PLEASE tell me you're joking...
Nicole: No, I'm serious, LOOK! It's burrowing!
Sho'nuff. Along with the pretzels and popcorn and PEAS (wtf) under the couch, there were little brown maggots. They were very fast. They...I think they were angry. One of them THREW the dead body of one of its brethren at me. I was just heading over with the vacuum cleaner and the curled-up little husk of a maggot popped off the carpet and landed about two feet from me.
I'm not kidding.
If you ever. EVER. drop peas under your couch. Pick them up.
Or suffer the wrath of couchmaggots.