I am, it seems, incapable of crushing a popped kernel of popcorn between my breasts. I even pushed them together with my hands and the damn kernel didn't get in the least bit squished or misshapen...it did it just to spite me, I'm sure. It made me a little sad to discover this fact, but I'm not unbearably depressed or anything. I just thought it might be nice to have a special trick.
And before anyone asks, no, I was not drunk.