kokopellinelli (kokopellinelli) wrote,

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I know this is old (November 3rd) but it just came to my attention and I had to comment on it.

TAIPEI, Taiwan - A man leaped into a lion’s den at the Taipei Zoo on Wednesday to try to convert the king of beasts to Christianity, but was bitten in the leg for his efforts.

“Jesus will save you!” shouted the 46-year-old man at two African lions lounging under a tree a few meters away.

“Come bite me!” he said with both hands raised, television footage showed.

One of the lions, a large male with a shaggy mane, bit the man in his right leg before zoo workers drove it off with water hoses and tranquilizer guns.

Newspapers said that the lions had been fed earlier in the day, otherwise the man might have been more seriously hurt ... or worse.

I think God may have been a little disappointed when the zooworkers drove the lions away before they could kill this fellow. I can see the way it went down:

ZD-Zealot Dude
God-Take a guess
The thoughts of God are in italics

God: "You there. I want you to...uh...convert the zoo-lions to Christianity."
Get out of my gene pool, you dipshit.

ZD: "Yes God! I shall do as you say!" *leaps into lions' enclosure, yells at them to convert, gets bitten*

Yes yes, c'mon, good Leo, maul that bastard...

*Zooworkers drive lions away with tranks and hoses, rescue ZD*

God: Aw, fuck.

I'm pretty sure that's how it went down. The sad thing is, this man is 46 years old, so he PROBABLY has already had kids, so even if he HAD gotten killed, he wouldn't have been eligible for a Darwin Award.

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