There's a phone in the pilot house and one in the galley so if the captain needs something, he can call down and vice versa if one of the crew wants something and doesn't want to go upstairs.
John had these girls (4th and 5th grade, mostly) crank-calling the galley.
Me: *answers, expecting to hear a masculine voice* Hello?
Voice of Young Female: Ummm... *click*
I went upstairs and saw John giggling to himself while one of the girls said, "HE MADE ME DO IT!"
Me: Don't do anything he says. He's a very bad man.
Also, at one point, he told them that if they wanted to see the gerbils that kept the engine running, they had to come down and ask me. I told them that the gerbils could only be seen by someone who stayed after the boat docked and cleaned the heads. The girl said, "I'll do it!" So I drew a gerbil on a paper cup and wrote "Frank" underneath it. One of the girls asked if Cap'n John was afraid of gerbils.
Me: I dunno.
Girl: *runs upstairs, comes back down* He says he is! Hey, we're gonna play a joke on him! *takes the cup and goes back upstairs*
I still don't know what the joke was.
The girl showed me the cup later. She'd crossed out "Frank" and written "Francesca."
And when we got back to the dock today, Ryan (a crew member) was on the docks with Amanda and Colleen, dressed in a disco suit the color of tomato sauce. Being at least 6 feet tall and built like a telephone pole, it looked perfect on him, especially when he did the walk. Picture a cartoon from the '70s, much like the credits at the beginning of Grease, and you'll know what I'm talking about. Ryan's nickname, given to him by the 9 year old daughter of one of the captains, is "Diiiiiva Booooooooooooyyy."
I got sort of pissed off today, too. When were at Bullhead, looking at sea lions, I was on the bow making sure no one did anything stupid like stand on the bench. One of the things that make our tours interesting and special (I think) is that the captains all have a spiel for all the areas and animals we see that is somewhat unique to each of them, while holding basically the same information. So John is talking about sea lions and he ends with "And you may notice that Stellar sea lions don't bark like California sea lions...their vocalizations sound more like groans, grumbles, and growls."
And the guy standing next to me mutters, "No, they sound like a guy who doesn't know when to get off the microphone and stop telling us stuff."
It took all my willpower not to turn to him and say something like, "Well gee, I'm sorry sir, but you see, MOST people actually LIKE to learn." I mean, it seemed sort of like he was a local or had at least been there before, but seriously, there were 67 other people on the boat who were actually ENJOYING the information they were hearing.
I have such a headache. Long trip tomorrow, too. Oy.