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JEEBUS FRIES!

November 24th, 2004

05:57 pm

SpongeBob Kidnappers Seek Ransom for Doll

1 hour, 37 minutes ago Strange News - AP


By The Associated Press

Have you seen this sponge? Police are looking for a a blow-up figure of SpongeBob SquarePants swiped from a Minnesota Burger King. They've found a ransom note which starts off: "We have SpongeBob." It then demands, "Give us ten Crabby Patties, fries and milkshakes."



The ransom note is signed by SpongeBob's nemesis, Plankton. A postscript reads: "Patrick is next," referring to the Bermuda shorts-wearing starfish that serves as SpongeBob's sidekick.


At a southeastern Utah Burger King, vandals made off with a 10-foot-tall SpongeBob balloon.


Employees are handing out "Missing" fliers with a full description of the popular cartoon figure — featured in a new movie.

09:21 pm

The summer of 2003, when I was 21, I worked in a hotel lobby as the front desk clerk. Second shift, which is 3pm-11pm. Attached to the lobby of this hotel was a bar. The bar was grungy, run-down, not a nice place. Most of its occupants were locals.

I am normally a rather shy person. Being around 45-year-old drunk guys who think I'm the hottest thing around (which sadly I was, because the only other things around were other 45-year-old drunk guys) only exaserbated this shyness.

This first guy was not too bad...he was a regular at the bar and quite nice when sober, though I'm unsure how often he bathed.

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