January 27th, 2005


Stolen from Lolli

I Heart The 90s
First of all, were you born in the mid/late 80s?Early 80s.
If so, what year?1981
Did you own any jelly shoes?One pair, but they made my feet really sweaty and gross. So I never wore them.
...do you still have them?Don't think so.
What was your favorite Power Ranger?None. Power Rangers sucked.
Could you name all of the Ninja Turtles?Oh yeah. Of course.
Name as many as you can.Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michaelangelo.
Who's cooler... Alex Mac or Clarissa?Alex Mac. Definitely.
Did you ever try to climb up a ladder to your best friend's room?No. Her room was on the ground floor.
How many times did you watch 'Scream'?Once, but not till, like, 2 years ago.
...did you think it was scary?Not really. I thought it was funny.
Did you own a pair of Zubaz?A pair of what now?
...how many...what color?Eleventy-billion. Yellow and green.
Weren't Koosh Balls fun as hell?Yep.
Eh... what were they for, anyway?Who cares? They were fun.
How many Beanie Babies did you own?Um...one or two, I guess.
Did your mother ever have to tackle somebody for one?Ha.
Did you/your parents cry when Kurt died?Kurt who?
...do you think Courtney did it?...Oh, Kurt Cobain. Yeah, she probably did it. She's freaky.
Did your parents vote for Clinton?Dunno.
How did they react to the whole "Monica" ordeal?I think they didn't really care.
Did you watch Friends?Yes.
Who's your favorite character?Chandler.
What is your favorite 'Friends' expression?"How YOU doin'?" ...Well, not really. I love the expression Chandler makes when he thinks someone is stupid.
What is your favorite 'Seinfeld' expression?Hate Seinfeld.
Who's worse... Barney or Tinkie-Winkie?Both.
Did your family have a fallout shelter for 'Y2K'?No.
Where were you and what were you doing on New Year's eve, 1999?I imagine I was at my Aunt's house setting off fireworks, just like every year.
And finally... what is your favorite thing about the 90s?...Um...I dunno. They were kinda just like the 80s, except I was older and able to realize that when people laughed at me at school, they were actually laughing AT me, and not near me.


Rabbit Hole (Dream Sequence)

There I was, in Kuala Lampur, minding my own business, when my brother ran up to me and said, "There's a tsunami coming, we have to leave." We knew we needed to get to high ground, so we headed toward the 50-stories-tall hotel up the street. On the way, I scooped an abandoned one-year-old boy up off the sidewalk. We named him Uno. Then a girl greatly resembling Keely ran up and handed me her newborn infant, cried to me to keep her safe, then disappeared into the crowd.

I handed Uno to my brother (who carried him very awkwardly, rather as one might carry a large potted tree or a drippy garbage bag) and we ran to the Ritz Kuala Lampur.

In the lobby, we saw many people going about their business, but when we told them about the pending disaster, they ignored us. We headed for the stairwell. When we got there, we looked up. There were eleventy-billion stairs, and they were all about 5 feet tall. Great.

Charley had to hop up on the step, then I handed Uno to him, then the baby, then hauled myself up. Then we repeated the process. It took 4 hours to get to the 2nd floor.

Suddenly, the danger was past. We were in a large palace, at a retreat for people who (apparently) were rich and had nothing important to do. What we were doing there, I don't know. Our mother was there, too.

The retreat was two weeks long. At the beginning of the second week, my mom announced that she was engaged to Enrique, a very tall Italian dude who didn't speak much English.

That was weird.

On the morning of the last day, I went downstairs for breakfast and noticed there was no ring on my mom's finger. I asked about it and she said it just would have been too much trouble for Enrique to move to Alaska or her to move to Italy, so they'd decided to just be friends. When Enrique left, they hugged goodbye, then I hugged him and said, "Grazie. Prego." Those are the only Italian words I know.

Mom asked me what I'd said, and I replied, "I think I said 'thank you,' 'please.' I don't know why."

And then I woke up.

I know where the Kuala Lampur thing came from...when were playing Trivial Pursuit there was a question about it. And the tsunami's pretty obvious. But the rest...no idea.