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JEEBUS FRIES!

March 31st, 2005

10:44 am

I woke up at 3 o'clock last night because the wind was howling outside my window and crashing the lid on the dumpster. Also, my bottom teeth were hurting. Not like a cavity or a toothache (we're talking ALL my bottom teeth) but like...I dunno. You know that feeling when you bite down on a piece of foil with your fillings? Yeah, like that. Or like when you have the flu and everything hurts, including your hair and your teeth. It's still kinda doing that, in waves. I'm fine, then all of a sudden my teeth are like SHAZAAM! and I almost pass out, then they instantly go back to normal. My teeth are bitches.

11:14 am

I like to tell stories! So I will now tell the story of stupid 11-year-old Nelli.

Stupid Baby Nelli (SBN) is at her best friend's house, and decides to call her parents (right next door, actually) and check in.

SBN: *dials the phone...555-7777*

Man: Hello?

SBN: Hi daddy. I'm just calling to let you know I'm at Becky's and will be home in a few hours.

Man: ...I'm not your dad, sorry.

SBN: *is mortified* Oh! Um, sorry. Wrong number, I guess.

Man: *friendly* That's okay.

SBN: *hangs up, confused* Hm. *dials number again, 555-7777*

Man: Hello?

SBN: Daddy?

Man: I'm not your dad.

SBN: *scornful 'I know I dialed right this time'* Come on, daddy, stop it.

Man: I'm not your father.

SBN: *upset* Daddy! Cut it out!

Man: I am not your father!

SBN: ...what number is this?

Man: *exasperated* 555-7777.

SBN: That's my number!

Man: No it's not.

SBN: ...oh. *small voice* Okay. *hangs up*

SBN: Becky? What's my phone number?

Becky: 555-7776.

SBN: *facepalm*

11:44 pm

Gah. I am so tired right now. Keels won't let me go to sleep till Justin calls (hopefully in about 20 minutes) and I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open. Seriously, I have that Paris Hilton Eye Syndrome goin' on, you know, where one of her eyes is all squinty and smaller than the other one? Yeah, that. My right eye is refusing to open all the way.

I would like to take this moment to say that I am in no other way like Paris Hilton...I am not skinny, blond, rich, or creepy, I have never been in a sex video, and most people actually like me. Or at least, they pretend to.
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