July 16th, 2007

Fat Ass

(no subject)

Last night I had a rather alarming dream (though for once, it didn't involve zombies). I dreamt that I was going to take part in some sort of variety show. The alarming part was that my bit was a one-person dramatic play about dancing, in which I had to dance.

I don't dance. What I do is more akin to stomping and flailing. But for some reason, I forgot that fact when I decided to do the play, which called for some energetic combination of ballet and jazz and Flashdance-type moves.

But that wasn't even the bad part. The bad part was, on opening night, as the other acts did their thing, when I realized I had not practiced at ALL and had no idea what I had to do. You know that dream where you're naked in the school cafeteria?* It was like that.

So I had to come up with something else to do at the last second. I decided to do some impromptu comedy. Luckily for me, I got a reprieve. As I stepped onto stage, the audience got up and left the theater. Maybe some performers would be upset at that. Not me! Surely they'll all leave and let me off the hook!

Nope. A few minutes later everyone returned; someone had put a whale in the swimming pool (wasn't me, I swear!) and they'd all gone to see it.

I don't remember much about the actual performance, which is probably a good thing. But people clapped for me, which was nice (though they'd clapped just as hard for the 8-year-old who had forgotten half the words to the song she sang). Still, it's the thought that counts.

*I've never had that dream, personally. All my dreams involve zombies and dancing. Woo!