December 30th, 2008

Abandon All Hope

Wolves and Hockey Sticks

I dreamt last night, but once again I've put off writing about it for so long most of the dream has flown from my head.

I do remember walking on a road through the woods with several other people. We were friends in the dream but I think they were based on movie characters or something. It was dark and we carried rifles, hockey sticks, and plastic bags. It was nighttime.

Ahead of us, some dark shapes ran across the road and there was howling.


We'd run into a couple wolves earlier in the dream, but they had been relatively friendly and helpful. We didn't think these other wolves would be so helpful; it seemed they were hunting us.

So of course, all my "smart" dream companions melted into the woods to try and get the wolves before they got us. I was left to guard two younger people out on the plain sight...and only a moon to see by.

Suddenly, a wolf materialised in front of us. Now, these wolves were not like actual wolves. They were people. Not exactly like were-wolves, the ones in the dream weren't dependant on the moon to be animals. They could talk and looked human, but were otherwise completely wolfy.

And the one in front of us looked like a guy I knew in high school.

Even as a wolf trying to kill us, I liked the dream version better than the real one.

Anyway, so this wolf leader was suddenly in front of me and my charges. One of them was holding a hockey stick, the other had the garbage bags. I held the rifle.

The wolf stared at us.

I raised the rifle and cocked it. "I don't think you want to come any closer."

The wolf raised his eyebrows. "Do you really think that thing can stop me before I kill you?"

"Maybe not," I replied. "But it'll sure sting."

He paused and looked at us, all three shaking in our boots. Then he laughed.

He said, "Keep going about another mile and you'll find what you seek."

For some reason, my companion offered the wolf a plastic bag, which he took gravely.

He tossed back his head and howled, then slipped back into the woods. We could hear the rest of the wolves howling and then only many footsteps until they faded from our hearing.

I never figured out where we were going or if my other companions came out of the woods alive, because suddenly...

I was in kind of a Princess Bride situation. That is, I'd been kidnapped by a short bald man and a giant, and another man who I never got a good look at. Presumably, he was a swordfighting Spaniard.

I had tried to escape several times, including once where I put myself in a giant hamster ball and used a catapult, but they always found me and brought me back. The last time, they took my shoes so I couldn't run off again.

Somehow, I managed to slip out the basement door when no one was looking and was halfway across the field when they figured out I was gone. I heard shouting behind me; it was the Vezzini character (who actually looked more like Danny Devito than Wallace Shawn).

Anyway, I'm not athletic or anything, but I'm still faster than Danny Devito.

So I sprinted across this field, into a thin line of trees, and came out in another field, which was right next to a highway.

As I booked it toward the road, I saw my mom and Summer on the grass. Mom was talking to an old lady who was trying to sell her apples while Sum ran around like a lunatic. I ran toward them, screaming at mom to grab Summer and get in the car and GET OUT OF THERE!

She grabbed hold of the dog and stared at me as I raced by. I reached the road at a break in traffic and ran right across.

On the other side of the highway, there was a little dropoff. Also, the terrain changed from field and forest to more like Alaskan interior. It was rocky and hilly but with very little vegetation, and nothing big enough to hid behind.

Luckily, Danny was apparently not smart enough to figure out that all he'd have to do was cross the road to find me.

I crouched down in the ditch and scurried along the side of the road, poking my head up every now and then to see if my pursuer was still there. I saw him trudging back across the field, but I still kept my head down as I moved.

At one point, I came across a busted-open suitcase. As my own clothes were torn and wet and dirty and quite recognizable, I took the opportunity to change into some khakis and a long-sleeved shirt. There was a jacket in the suitcase and a pair of sneakers, too. Yay! I remember thinking I had a long way to walk and that I had to head off across the wilderness, so I'd better get to it!

I never did find out their precise reason for kidnapping me. I wasn't engaged to a prince or anything, so killing me wouldn't have started a war or anything.