kokopellinelli (kokopellinelli) wrote,

Wife Swap wtf

So, Beck and I were watching Wife Swap last night (shut up, don't judge us!) and wow. I mean, I know they find the families with the most opposing values and swap them, and generally there are some crazy views in there. The first family contained the wife (the breadwinner), the husband (stay-at-home mom and holder of multiple theology degrees) and two daughters.

The second family contained the wife (woman must do everything for her man, as he wishes, because she is "the weaker vessel") and the husband (self-called "Gate Keeper")*, as well as their 6 or 8 kids. The girls could not date ever, they just had to pray for a husband to come to them. The 13-year-old said at one point that she didn't want to be her husband's "puppydog," at which point her father turned to the Swapwife and said "YOU WILL NOT TALK TO MY CHILDREN ABOUT DIFFICULT SUBJECTS!" Later in the show, she indicated that she might want to study medical science and be a doctor. Her father's response? Basically, he took her and her younger sister away from the house for a couple days, and when they returned, she said that she realized that wasn't what she wanted and that she was made to be a wife and mother. It made me feel ill, actually, to realize the extent of the brain-washing in that family.

Not to mention the dad was seriously creepy. He did that thing where, when talking to the camera, he dipped his chin and looked looked at the camera with only his eyes, then bit off each word like they tasted bad. ("I am the gateKEEPER, and my wife is my helpMATE.")

Oh, but my favorite part of the show was when the Gate Keeper's wife was reading the rules of her new household. She read, "We believe in letting our kids think for themselves; we teach them to have open minds." She looked at the camera and said, "You know who else likes open minds? The devil. And cults."

Well, I guess I'm going to hell.

*Which prompted many Ghostbusters jokes. "I am the Gatekeeper." "I am the Keymaster." "THERE IS NO JESUS, ONLY ZUUL."
Tags: god squad, wife swap

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