Background: My brother Charles is 17, nearly 18. He works for the same company I do. Thus, he is exposed to many of the same touristy weirdos that I am.
Story 1) A creepy softspoken man with enormous glasses and, to quote my brother, "Gollum-like teeth" is on his boat. Charles is in the galley at the time this conversation takes place. Keep in mind that whales can only be hunted anymore by native villagers, and only once a year, and only to keep their traditions alive. It's more ceremonial now than for sustenance.
WG: Weird guy
(WG approaches and stares wide-eyed and grinning at C.)
WG: Have you ever eaten whale? (Charles does a voice impression that's really quite creepy...think Hannibal Lecter but not as intelligent.)
C: Um...no, I can't say I ever have...have you?
WG: No. But I bought the cookbook.
WG: What's the best restaurant in town to get whale?
C: Well. I, uh, don't eat out much...but Sea Moor Fish has some good seafood, I hear... (Turns away and pretends to be doing something)
WG: Thank you. (Shuffles away)
Susan and Charles are in the galley, incidently discussing how creepy old men always hit on her. A creepy old man approaches.
COM: Creepy old man
S: (smiles) How may I help you?
COM: Well, don't you have pearly whites?
S: Thank you.
COM: (turns to C and does a double-take) Well! Aren't you a handsome lad! Look at this good-looking guy! Isn't he just a nice-looking guy? Just a fine-looking lad! My my! Yessiree, what a good-looking fellow!
S: (smiles and leaves)
C: (is stuck in the galley, nervous and frightened, until someone comes by and asks for coffee, prompting the old man to leave)
Fast forward a couple hours. Charles goes upstairs to relieve Susan from binocular duty. COM is sitting at the upstairs table with his wife.
COM: Well, hello again!
C: (weakly) Oh, hi.
COM: (to his wife) Isn't he just a fine-looking lad! Just a fine-looking boy! Just look at him. What a nice-looking young man!
COM's Wife: (giggles and waggles her eyebrows at C)
C: (smiles tightly and pretends to be doing something for the captain)
Okay, so maybe you have to be here to listen to Charles doing the voices for these people for these stories to be truly amusing, but I like them.