kokopellinelli (kokopellinelli) wrote,
kokopellinelli
kokopellinelli

My brother sent this to me in an email. I've seen it before, but I always think it's kind of sad and amusing. To alleviate my own boredom, I am taking this opportunity to bold all of these that pertain to me.

Recently a flyer from a local church was sent around with this
message, here it is in full.

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your
child may have gone astray from the Lord.

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that
young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture
leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of
evil,darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through
counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of
Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to
your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various
other Satanic worshipping symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of
music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak
eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such
as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic,
the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This
is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God
and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local
mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and
elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this. (COUNT CHOCULA CEREAL MEANS YOU COMMUNICATE WITH THE DEVIL ?)
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood.
(Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very
dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources.
(Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative manner.
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene
immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within
it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your
local mental health center.

-Claire

Oh noes, I'm a goth! I like my quiet time and my computer! CALL OUT THE NUN BRIGADE.
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