Anyway, after hours of virus scans that didn't delete the virus, restarting the computer, manually finding the infected file and attempting to delete it and having it reply "Sorry, you're not authorized to do that and also you're stupid," I finally managed to (I THINK) get the damn thing off my computer.
This took five hours. Continuous.
Moving on, I am the most disgusting eater. I was eating a big bowl of salad while wearing my stretchy lounge-about-the-house tank top, and apparently not paying much attention to what I was doing, and a huge glob of lettuce and croutons fell off my fork, *SPLAT* right between my boobs. My cleavage smells like Ranch dressing and I should probably take a shower.
There's a wasp buzzing around outside my window. I'm not happy about this. He will find that one weakness in our defenses, I'm sure, and crawl into the living room like a tiny evil octopus with a stinger and now I'm afraid to go outside.