kokopellinelli (kokopellinelli) wrote,

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Back! We had a great day at the faire. This morning we watched a magician (that means he "majishes") who was probably the single most obnoxious person at the faire. "HEY! HEY MA'AM! DON'T GO IN THAT TENT! YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THE THINGS IN THERE! THIS IS A FREE MAGIC SHOW! FREE! THAT MEANS YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY! OMG NO ONE LIKES ME SO I HAVE TO SCREAM TO GET THEIR ATTENTION!!11!one!" The magic wasn't that good, either. We could see him doing most of his sleight of hand...he would even reach into his back pocket for the chocolate bars he was supposedly pulling from the air!

Then we watched a chocolate eating contest. They had one for kids, then one for adults, then two more for kids. They had to eat as many mini Crunch bars as they could in two minutes. One of the little girls who volunteered was standing in front of the stage with a ballon, raising her hand. Size-wise, she looked about three and a half. Keely poked me and said, "She's SO CUTE!" Then she turned her head, and I realized I knew her! Her name is Emily and she's one of the kids in the Montessori Kindergarten I've subbed a couple times. She told me once that she doesn't like being the shortest person in her class because everyone picks on her. She was the one I was cheering for during the contest.

Keels and Justin went on what Keely calls the "Death Drop," where they lift people up about 4 stories, keep them at the top for a very long time, then drop them suddenly. Then Keels and I went on this boat-like thing that rocks back and forth, higher and higher. It was very exciting. There were some girls facing us, and I was sure they were going to shoot out from their seat and land on us. Then we went on the Yoyo, with swings that go in circles and flare out. That one was really fun, even though seven people (SEVEN!) cut in front of us in line. Common courtesy, people. Look it up.

We watched the tail end of a talent competition. The three finalists squared off against one another. The first girl, who was our age and rather overweight, was awesome, and sang "Think" by Aretha Franklin. She blew us away.

The next lady was probably mid-twenties, and very pretty and skinny. She sang "Sin Wagon" by the Dixie Chicks. I love the Dixie Chicks. "Sin Wagon" is a great song. But rarely can someone pull off a Dixie Chicks song, because Natalie Maines has a very unique voice. This lady? BUTCHERED the song. She hit maybe half the notes. Maybe.

The last was a 7-year-old who sang "Redneck Woman." OMG. "I can't swig that sweet champagne, I'd rather drink beer all night!" "I'll stand bare-footed in my own front yard with a baby on my hip!" "Let me get a big OH YEAH from the redneck girls like me, OH YEAH!" Now, if you're not familiar with this song, the lyrics are supposed to be "Hell yeah!" If you're going to let your 7-year-old sing that song, don't censor it. The girl was very cute, and talented for someone that age, but she didn't hit every note.

At the end, the announcer called all three up on stage and the judges deliberated and handed him the paper. Keely, Justin, and I figured, talent-wise, Aretha girl should win hands down, followed by the little Redneck girl, with Natalie Maines wannabe trailing behind. As Keely put it, "You know that if the little girl wins, it will be because of the cuteness factor, and if the Sin Wagon lady wins, it will be because of the skinny factor."

Sho'nuff. The order went Skinny Factor, Cuteness Factor, and Talent Factor. Afterward we watched Skinny Factor chatting with the judges, and it seemed like they knew her.

We watched a little bit of a gun-twirling show, with the four-time world champion gun twirler. Then we headed over to watch the Funny Juggler, the self-proclaimed "Only Canadian juggler to get deported from Mexico!" He was fun. We sat on the grass in front of the stage. Right when the show started, he tried to get everyone to "oooh" at a trick, and I guess my oooh was especially loud or something, because he came over and was like, "Excuse me, miss! You in the green shirt, with the dolphins! What's your name? Nelli? Nelli, why don't you ooooh for these people!"

So I oooohed.

And he made everyone give me a hand. I bowed. He said that my first oooh had sounded more like I'd stepped in something yucky (ewwww) but that my next oooh was much better.

I am a champion oooher. Mother would be so proud.

AND! There was the cutest little girl sitting right behind us. She was probably about a year and half old, and she kept trying to eat things off the ground. She found my hair fascinating, so she came and stood in front of me and played with my hair and my hands while we watched the show.

I wanted to steal her.

All in all, a very fun day. I have a slight sunburn, good friends, and a bag of cotton candy the size of a two-year-old. Life is good.

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