kokopellinelli (kokopellinelli) wrote,

From milestogo13.

Generate Your Own "VH1: Behind the Music Special" -- Why wait until you're bankrupt and alone? by MilesToGo13
You rose to stardom...in the durrrty south clubs of Atlanta, where you gained immediate success with your audiences by setting effigies of Lil' John on fire and putting him out with glasses of cheap beer (or what everyone hoped was beer) while screaming "Wwwwhat?!" and jumping up and down on his spleen.
Your first big break came in the form of...a record company scout discovering that you actually had talent, causing a vague memory to tug at his mind. After having his interns do some research, he discovered that this "talent" thing had actually been a determining factor in who got signed back in the '60s and certain parts of the early '90s, prompting him to go ahead and sign you for the novelty factor.
Your career reached an all-time high after...ten different sex tapes emerged, each showing you with a different ultra-hot star/starlet, and with the time-stamp on each tape bearing the same date for some reason...
Your recreational activity of choice on tour was..coating a slip and slide in pure LSD and just seeing where the ride took you.
But then, tragedy struck, when...your drummer was forced into early retirement, losing both his feet to an infection caused by ingrown toenails. This not only removed an integral part of your band, but also destroyed your street cred as the weakest band tragedy ever.
You were crushed, filling your days with...endless Jello shots made with vodka and that blue liquid usually used to clean combs.
But then, your savior came along in the form of...indnraindancer
These days, you spend most of your time...endorsing that one product, you know, from those people, who gave you that money. Great product, that...thing is.
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